Frieza's Universal Bowling Championship
by Saiyanbrat
Summary: Look here for the explanation of ZARBON'S FLAVOURED FAERIES....you know u wanna...
1. Default Chapter Title

Some people wanted me to explain 'ZARBON'S FLAVOURED FAERIES' to them. Well. Here is my explanation  
  
*****Frieza's Universal Bowling Championship*****  
  
Setting - A dimly lit, smoke filled bowling alley, somewhere in the galaxy, on a planet controlled by Frieza himself. Of course the bowling alley is called - Freiza's Universal Bowling Alley. It used to be Bob's All Star Bowl, but that was before Bob was sent to the **OTHER DIMENSION** and that is another story all together  
  
We join the story, during the break after the 11th frame. See, in this galaxy, Frieza changed the rules for bowling. Now there were 13 frames, the pins could walk, and killing your opponet was only legal in SOME parts of the galaxy, this part not included. Unfortunately, for the readers.  
  
Both teams had been indulging themselves *pigging out* at the refreshment stand, the clerk almost peed his pants in fright as both the teams had charged over to his counter to order all the Goobers and Milk Spuds that he had in stock. The clerk, *whos name was also, coincidentally named Bob* peeked over at the large bowlers. Then he ducked back under the counter. He had pretended to go to the bathroom and had locked up the concession stand, just so the little orange bowler would stop brushing his arm in that....seductive....charming.... "NO!" Bob the clerk yelled out loud.   
Everybody in the alley just stared in the direction of the counter.  
Bob the clerk just slunk lower and lower behind it.  
  
As the break came to a close, both the teams retreated back to their booths and stared at each other.  
The two teams sized each other up, powerlevel to powerlevel, species to species, bowling shoes to bowling shoes and eye to eye to eye. It was a truly formidable game that they had played.  
The score was...uh...lets say......  
867 - 869  
  
**a shoe comes flying out from a reader, arguing about the highness of the score.**  
*OW! DAMMIT! I TOLD YOU LORD FRIEZA CHANGED THE RULES!* *throws shoe back at reader....grumbling....baka...*  
  
ANYWAYS. It was 867 - 869. And these last two frames were crucial for the teams. Because both their BEST bowlers were up to bowl right now. And after them, came both the teams WORST bowlers!  
  
o.0 ?   
Maybe I should introduce the two teams to you! ::sweatdrop::  
Ok! Here we have it!  
  
The Ginyu All-Stars - 867  
Captian Ginyu - Captain - The Best Score  
Berter - 2nd best score  
Jeice - 3rd Best score  
Rikum - Just a few points behind Jeice  
Guldo - *ulp* Let's just say he's in last ok?  
  
Zarbon's Flavoured Faeries - 869  
Zarbon - Captain - best score.  
Dodoria - 2nd Best   
Nappa - 3rd Best * Nappa is a replacement for Hibbij, he's passed out by the Marvel vs. Capcom2 game*  
Radditz - 4th best *He's a replacement for Pibm. He put his fist through an electric casino game and got kicked out of the alley.  
Vegeta - Dead last. *Replacement for Sardo, ...he...uh...you know? i really dont know what happened to him...*  
  
So here it goes, Captain Ginyu vs. Zarbon. And after they flip a coin, Zarbon goes first.  
He ran his fingers along the bowling balls and plucked out a purple one.   
"Figures" Muttered Vegeta.  
Zarbon ignored the comment, he was kicking Vegeta's ass anyways.  
He pulled the ball up, inhaled, exhaled, and did his stepping towards the line.  
He pulled back his arm for the swing and... "YOUR MAMA WEARS A NEON THONG FOR A HEADBAND!" Rikum shouted out, trying to psych out Zarbon.  
But it was too late, he had released the ball...and it was going, going, going...  
STIIIIIIIIIIIRIKE!  
Zarbon just brushed off his hands and smirked. According to Frieza rules, that was another 13 points for his team. 882 now.  
  
Berter smacked Rikum upside the head. "You mama wears a neon thong for a headband?" He mocked  
Rikum just slapped Berters hand away and ate the last of the nachos.   
Berter just stared. "Those were Jeice's! He's gunna kill you!" Rikum looked unmoved. He then glanced around and about. "Where is that tangerine anyways?"  
  
It was Captain Ginyu's turn now. He blindly grabbed the first bowling ball that he could snatch up and he started to set up. He inhaled, exhaled, and did a pose for good luck.  
When he was done, he started his walk to the line, and just as he was about to release the ball......  
  
"GAAAAAAAA! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!" Bob the clerk screamed.  
"Chill baby! I was just trying to make you feel nice..." Jeice purred.  
"GAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!" Bob the clerk screamed again, and he shoved Jeice away from him and the counter.  
"Baby! Did it hurt? Want me to make you feel-" Jeice started  
"GAAAAAA! STOP CALLING ME BABY!" Bob the clerk shrieked, his panic striken eyes shot around the counter, and his eyes settled on the grill.  
He snatched up a spatula and glared down at the little orange man-thing, also known as Jeice.  
"Back off!! Or...orr...I'll SPATULATE you!" Bob the clerk threatened.  
Jeice's face broke out into a goofy grin. "Ohh! So you DO play like that!" He exclaimed happily.  
Bob the clerk looked confused. "Play like what?" He looked up at the ceiling in confusion, and when he looked back at Jeice, his eyes popped out of his head.  
Jeice was lying on his stomach across the counter, moving his derriere towards Bob.  
Jeice just purred. "Well, see...you usually use a PADDLE in these sorts of situa-"   
"GAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Bob the clerk ran into the storage room and locked it from the inside.  
  
*clink, clink, clink*   
That was the sounds of three one point pins falling to the alley floor.  
Ginyu's face fell in defeat. Now they were 13 points behind Zarbon's Flavoured Faeries, and GULDO was up next.  
  
.......  
Oh no! What's going to happen to our beloved Ginyu force? Will they win, lose or DRAW!...er...wrong game..and what about our poor friend Bob the clerk? Will he ever recover?  
Look for part two soon! R&R please!   



	2. Chapter 2

Welcome welcome. I know its a long time coming, but the second part to Frieza's Universal Bowling Championship has finally been finished! Quite honestly I forgot about this! But here's the ending. Muaahaha!  
  
*****Frieza's Universal Bowling Championship - Part 2 *****  
  
Recap - Thanks to Jeice and his hormones, Captain Ginyu messed up their squads last chance at tying up the game. Zarbon's flavoured faeries are 13 points ahead of them. And the only way they can tie it up is if Vegeta misses all the pins, and Guldo magically learns how to bowl.  
  
Jeice skipped back to the benches, with a big grin on his face. "He'll come to, they always do." He said happily as he sat down on the bench and crossed his leg over the other. His orange hands sitting comfortably in his lap as he looked at Berter, Rikum and Ginyu's angry faces.  
  
"What's wrong mates?" He asked innocently.  
  
The next thing Jeice remembered was waking up in the storage room. He blinked and saw a huge hole in the wall, in the shape of his crumpled body.  
He quickly turned around and saw the scared face of Bob the clerk.   
"Oooohh" Jeice purred as Bob the clerk let out one last scream.  
  
Vegeta's face turned to a scowl as Radditz pushed him forward, telling him it was his turn up. "Don't you think I KNOW that you half-wit!" He growled at Radditz who looked fairly amused at the saiyajin prince's dilemna.  
  
He picked up the closest bowling ball and looked apprehensively at the pins at the end of the alley. "I WILL hit the pins! I'am the saiyajin PRINCE! DAMMIT!" He swore to himself as he started to walk towards the line, with his ball in his hands, ready to be thrown.  
  
Closer and closer, his fingers had just pulled back and were releasing the ball when...  
"Don't worry Vegeta! Even if you screw up, I won't tell anybody about your pink bunny rabbit underwear like I threatened!" Zarbon yelled out, amused.  
  
"GAH!" Vegeta gasped as he whirled around and the ball left his fingers.  
  
"YOU'RE DEAD!" The little prince ran up to Zarbon and glared up at him.  
  
Then he heard the unmistakable noise of pins clattering to the floor.  
  
A dead silence crept across the alley as all watched in horror.  
  
And some in amusement.  
  
"VEGETA YOU LITTLE FURBALL!" Zarbon yelled down at the saiyajin. "YOU KNOCKED OVER 6 OF THE OTHER TEAMS PINS! YOU HAVE THEM 6 POINTS YOU IDIOT! Now they have a chance of winning!!!" He grabbed Vegeta by the throat and growled at him menacingly. If there was ony thing Zarbon hated, it was losing.  
  
"Acck." Vegeta squirmed and hacked.  
"Chill out Zarbon." Nappa said bored. "Guldo can barely waddle down the lane, much less hit the pins." He chomped on some nachos as he watched on.  
"Yah." Dodoria said as he snatched the nachos from Nappa and ate them, plate and all.  
  
"Oh right." Zarbon said, calmly as he dropped Vegeta on his royal ass.  
  
All eyes were on Guldo as the green blob swallowed nervously.  
Captain Ginyu smiled and beckoned to Guldo.  
Guldo slowly lurched forward.  
Ginyu placed his hand on Guldo's shoulder and said soothingly. "Guldo my man. All you have to do is hit 7 pins, and we're tied." Guldo smiled at the captain. A bit relieved that he wasn't about to get his ass kicked.  
"BUT, we dont want to tie do we?" Ginyu asked.  
Guldo shook his head.  
  
"SO you little booger! You get a strike or you're off the Ginyu Squad for good this time!" Ginyu hollored as he picked up Guldo and threw him towards the lane.  
  
Guldo grabbed a green ball and walked quickly down the lane. "Better get this over with." He said quietly.  
  
One, two , three, WOOSH!  
  
Guldo's ball shot down the alley , heading straight for the centre of the pins!  
  
"WHAAAT?" Zarbon yelled.  
  
"Oh shit..." Vegeta sulked.  
  
"Mmmphhh" Dodoria mumbled between nachos.  
  
"MY NACHOS!" Nappa yelled at Dodoria.  
  
"Impossible!" Radditz gasped. "HEY! Gimmie my nachos!" He growled.  
  
"Guldo?" Ginyu's jaw dropped.  
  
"WHAAAAAT?" Berter shrieked.  
  
"No way!" Rikum observed.  
  
"Ohhh Bob!" Jeice yelled from the back room.  
  
"GET OFF ME! SECURITY!" Bob screamed.  
  
"yes!" Guldo yelled as he jumped up and down.  
  
Big mistake.  
  
The weight of Guldo sent the ball tilting towards the gutter!  
  
"SHIIIT!" Guldo said as he saw his mistake.  
Only one thing left to do....  
  
Guldo held his breath.  
  
And all the bowling alley stopped as he charged down the lane and moved the ball. He threw all the pins down , and smiled at his ingeniousity.  
  
"I RULE!" He yelled as he let go of his breath.  
  
The alley came back to life, Guldo was at the end of the lane still!!!!!  
  
Guldo held his breath again and charged back to the line, where he let go of his breath and smirked.  
  
"STIIIIIIRIKE!!!" Captain Ginyu yelped happily as he gathered his squad.  
  
"NOO!" Zarbon fell to his knees in defeat. "I'M GUNNA KILL YOU FURBALL!"  
Zarbon yelled as he chased Vegeta down the alley and up the alley and down and up....  
  
"Aw well. GIMMIE MY NACHOS!" Radditz and Nappa and Dodoria fought over the last plate of nachos.  
  
"Boys! It's time to do the Ginyu Dance of Joy!" Captain Ginyu said proudly as all four of them assumed their beginning stance.  
  
"Wait a minute..." Berter said slyly. "Where's Jeice?"  
  
Everybody in the alley shot a glance to the storage door, where Jeice stood, putting his hair back in place, and grinning wildly.  
"What I miss mates?" He asked.  
  
"Help me! Please!" Bob whimpered.  
  
And so forth, they had their dinner and accepted their trophy of acheivement from Lord Frieza himself.  
And as they were on their way out of the alley, Bob the clerk sighed in relief.  
"Finally, I'll never see that freak again."   
  
Just then a yell emanated from the stairwell.  
"GUESS WHO JUST SIGNED UP FOR BOWLING LESSONS MATE!"  
  
****  
  
Well thats it, its not as funny as the first time, well..at least you get a sense of closure to the story!!  
R&R please!  
-Saiyanbrat 


End file.
